UNCLE FESTER LIVES AT MY BOYFRIEND'S CONDO...

It was a beautiful night sometime in September 2005...

I was hanging out with Gio outside his condo. It was a beautiful summer night, a nice breeze rolling through, when I noticed this bald-headed, stocky Arabic guy in boxer shorts and a t-shirt headed for us carrying a stack of papers in his hand.

Gio whispers to me, "that's the guy I was talking about." See earlier, he mentioned that there had been an Arab man called Mo trying to get his attention about what's been going on at the condo.

This Mo guy had a calm demeanor but a real intense look on his face. I also remember that he also had the darkest circles under anyone's eyes that I've ever seen, almost like a demon who hadn't slept in a hundered years. Remember Uncle Fester from the Adam's Family? This could be his twin brother.

"Giorgio, I need you to look at this" he said. He then put his stack of paper on the patio table and started telling us of how the condo board was persecuting him. He showed us a letter that the condo attorney sent to him stating he should stop harrassing board members (BIG RED FLAG, EH?). Then he rambled on about how the condo board was questioning his marriage to a woman who only spoke Portugese and he only spoke arabic and english (another red flag because he admitted he didn't speak Portuguese).

Anyway, he started showing us how the property manager wasn't licensed and that's what caught my attention about what seemed like problems that anyone living there should be concerned about. But see that was the hook, he pointed out something that was true then added on a lot of half truths and lies. Unfortunately, I didn't know at the time that this would become a nightmare.

So as the boxer clad man rambled on for an hour about how the current Board of Directors needed to be replaced, I could only wonder how we could get ourselves away from him. It seemed like everytime he stopped to catch his breath, that could be the moment of escape. But he seemed ready for that and pulled out new papers each time for us to read.

Finally, a break! On his fifth round of how the condo board was attacking his marriage, we saw an opportunity to end the conversation.

So Mr. Mo left us a stack of papers with all sorts of handwritten notes and hot pink flags attached and waddled away.

If only we had said "We just don't want to get involved" maybe we could have walked away unscathed from this whole mess. But NOOOO, we were willing to listen and find out the truth.

They say the truth shall set you free, but they didn't mention after you ride a wild roller-coaster through Hell first!....

- Evann Black

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